Finally, The Avenger Review Part 1 (SPOILER FREE)

I'm pretty sure that by now, you would have watched The Avengers like a gazillion times, and yet, still unable to figure out where them movies prior to The Avengers go in the Marvel timeline. Not to worry, I found this post in 9gag which solves that very problem. How nice and thoughtful ! Shows us when the events in the various Marvel films take place, and where Thor, Iron Man 1&2, Captain America, The Incredible Hulk movies overlap with each other. 

Click to enlarge.

So what next? A friggin review of course! Actually its more of a question-answer kinda review.

Anyway its SPOILER FREE so here goes.

"But I haven't watched any of the movies prior to this! I don't know what's happening and I'm clueless. I thought these kind of movies are for geeks. But I wanna watch it now because everyone is doing it! HOW?"

If you've seen the trailers, you kind of gotten the gist of the story-line. Superheroes assemble, to defeat Thor's half-brother, Loki. If you haven't seen any of the earlier Avengers-related movies, don't worry - Josh Whedon weaved the story well enough to tell you what you've missed, filling in the gaps even to those clueless sods who never gave a hoot about Marvel movies til now. Go die, darn posers ! NEXT.

"Bloody hell. But I'm a comic fan! That's injustice to us loyalists! How can they make it like this!?? Dumbed it down???!!!! Watered down?? Heck no!"

Dont worry. Calm your tits man. Josh Whedon left enough Easter Eggs in the movie to pay homage to hardcore fans. I, for one, felt the movie does justice to the comics and us hardcore fans. It is smart, witty, action-packed without being tacky and in true Marvel fashion, left lots of clues on what are to be expected in future movies. I'm not gonna tell you what they are, as it will be spoiling the movie for you, right? ;)

"Oh surely there will be issues of each characters not getting enough screen time. Too many characters at a time in the same movie. How do you fit each individual storyline without sacrificing others'? Like Ocean's Eleven...well, they sucked at it...kind of"

Actually, I think every character got equal screen time, worthy of their expected presence in the movie, and as an Avenger. Ok, some do get extra coverage, like Tony Stark and Bruce Banner but it happens in the comics too. A-list characters get more screen time. That is expected, to be fair I'm afraid.

"How's Tom Hiddlestone as Loki? Yay or Nay?"

For a bit, I was kind of rooting for him! He gave performance like that of Heath Ledger in The Dark Kinight. Well, almost. Worth coming to watch the movie just for his acting alone.

"Cobie Smulders as Maria Hill?"

Oh wow Aunt Robin as Agent Maria Hill? She sure was a feast for the eyes, not as much as Scarlett though but Cobie was alright ;). But one gripe - I wish they'd feature her more ...but then again, like in the comics, she's almost a C-list character.

"So I've seen the trailer - is that all? Any more scenes that will make me rip off my seat?"

YES. AND PLENTY I tell you.

"I have a weak bladder. When can I pee?"

Err... I suppose after Hawkeye was 'cured' (see? very informative without revealing much :P)

"Any boobs?"

Does Hulk's moobs count? If no, minimal.

"Favorite scene?"

It involves The Hulk and Loki ;D

"Any cheesy lines that will make me cringe?"

None. Actually yes but minimal, mostly by old steel head. I am kinda disappointed that Captain America didn't go "Avengers Assemble!"

"How's the pace? Not to quick or draggy?"

It starts with a BANG, continued steadily through the middle, and ended with a BANG. Never a dull moment throughout. Good pace to keep viewers engaged but it can be overwhelming at times with the non-stop actions which leads to over-excitement. Kinda like when your dog greets you after you come back from school or work.

"What about Iron Man's suit? Any cool scenes? What's new?"

Lots. We learn lots of new, cool stuff Tony Stark has put into the Mark VI suit, and if you thought the Mark V suit-up scene in Iron Man 2 was the shizz, The Avengers has something that will top that. Also, the Captain America's by the way.

"Cameos?"

Yes. We get Pepper Potts, Jane Foster and Stan Lee as usual. Keep your eyes sharp :) Sadly no War Machine tho, otherwise it will be kickass seeing Rhodey shooting at the Chitauri.

"I hated Iron Man 2. Will I like this?"

You will.

"I hated Thor. Will I like this?"

You will.

"I hated Captain America: The First Avenger. Will I like this?"

Can't blame you but ditto.

"I hated the Hulk movies. Wil I like this?"

You better.

"What about Mark Ruffalo? Better than Ed Norton? How is he as Bruce Banner?"

Brilliant. I prefer him to Edward Norton, actually. He portrays the emotions of a brilliant scientist struggling with his inner beast perfectly. I wish there's a remake of the Hulk with Mark on board this time. 

"After-credits - should I wait?"

DUH. Keep your keesters glued to the seats. I failed to do that during Fast Five and learned my lesson since.

Here's a few hits and misses.

More Nick fury talk, as if the heroes are his last chance. YET, he still plays down the importance of Tony Stark. - HIT! 

We hear more of The Black Widow. Woweee. But I personally prefer more scenes of her with the zipper err... pulled lower down. - MISS! Well. Half-Hit. No opened zipper, but Natasha fights in a short dress. WIN.

Extra lines from Bruce Banner instead of the customary "Huuuurrrrrggghhhh!" - HIT!

Speaking of the Hulk, we notice there's an extended clip where he actually plays well along with others, and saved Iron Man who seemed like he was knocked out. Way to go Green Bro! - Almost a MISS> But it's a HIT!

Iron Man - Captain America - Thor brawl. I sensed there will be an ice-breaking session which includes them three knocking the socks off each other. - HIT!

Loki will be one big mutha - MISS! (you'll know why once you've watched it)

The Hulk is a bigger mutha! - HIT!

The star cast. Superb performances all round.

The Avengers Review Part 2- Coming Up!